Please, don't get me started. Let's not talk about this motherfucker today, alright? Last night, he was blaring speed metal at top volume until three in the morning. When I finally woke up, he'd tried to make breakfast. He must have eaten like three loaves of toast, because all the bread and butter were gone. There was bacon grease and egg shells all over everything and he left the fucking milk out. I called him on it and he just said "I paid for it, I'll do what I want." He didn't pay for it, I did. He hasn't had a goddamn job in nearly a decade. I can hear him playing Splinter Cell in the other room instead of looking at the want ads.

I've been thinking about calling Reed Richards and I fucking hate Reed Richards.

That cocksucker still owes me $125 dollars for cocain. I mentioned it to him at a party a couple weeks ago and he told me he paid me that money months ago, fucking liar.

He borrowed my car last week and not only did he bring it back late it had huge dent on the passenger side. I go inside to ask him what the fuck happened he's sitting on the couch play my new game. A new game I didn't even take out of the plastic yet. I ignore it and I ask him about the dent his reply is "What dent?" I say "The huge fucking dent on the passenger side!" He looks up for a second like he's trying to find and excuse and he say "Oh yeah, I hit a something."I reply "Something?" and with an attitude he goes "Yeah man something." Now I'm pissed so I ask "What the fuck did you hit?" And do you know what this prick says he says "A sign bro, It came out of nowhere, you know!" I could take anymore I flipped. "Thats bullshit!" "you're going to pay for this right!?" and he actually says to me "won't you insurance cover it." When he knows goo and well they won't. Fucking douche bag.

Fuck I can top that. Dude dated my sister for like two months, the whole time he was with her I knew he was sleeping around on her but it wasn't my place to say anything. Well sure enough his lazy ass got her pregnant, and as soon as she told him he dumped her. That cock sucker wouldn't even pay for half of the abortion! I had to front her the cash. And then what happens? She goes in for the abortion and the doctors told her she has gonorrhea! If I ever see that Dbag again I'm going to fucking kill him!

I hate this punk. I used to have this smoking hot girlfriend and every time I brought her over he would be rude and shit. When I would bring her up he's say she was ugly, fat, and all kind of stuff. Now I did know this at the time but when your so called roommate and friend talks shit about your girlfriend when you know shes attractive watch the fuck out. So one day I came and heard noises coming from the living room. What do I see when I walk in? My fucking cunt of a girlfriend getting fucked doggy style on my couch that has been paid off yet by this motherfucker. I go into a rage braking shit and ready to tear this fucker a new asshole. Then some surfer looking bastard comes running from out of my room with some bitch. These prick are using my apartments as a fucking brothel and shit. Before I know it surfer guy sucker punches me and my former roommate starts kicking me. My now ex is screaming for them to stop. They leave and I stumble up and tend to my wounds. I go to the emergency room and have to get stitches. When I come I find my flat screen and Xbox are fucking gone. That motherfucker came back and took my shit. If I ever see him a again I'll kill him. I swear i will.

I'm glad I kicked him out when I did. I used to room with the guy and he's a complete cock blocker. One day I told him that in a few days I was going to have a girl over. So I told him just t keep thing tidy when she comes to visit and he agreed. So the day come when she was going to visit I spent the whole day cleaning and he kept to his word. So my girl came over we sat around talking while he was in his room. Soon all of a sudden I hear fucking death metal blasting from his room I excuse myself and knock on his door. He can't hear because that damn music. So I open the door and ask him to turn the music. He gets smart saying "Dude it's my fucking room." So i point out to him that he has paid his half of the rent in almost eight months. He gives me this look but turns it down. I go back and talk to my girl a little more then she asks to use the bathroom. I oblige because for the first time in months it doesn't smell like balls and moldy towels in there. I sitting their thinking about how I going to scam this broad in to bed. Then I her a loud scream i run to the bathroom and she's pointing to the toilet. There this humongous turd floating in the can. I call him out of the room and show him he denies but I know he the only person I know that could make a log like that. after forcing his shit to flush and calming my date. We get into some heavy petting. I have my hand up her bra then here comes captain cock block. "Don't mind me I'm just gonna get some cereal." he announces. And do you know what this big dumb fuck does he goes "Hey that not the girl from last week?" That bastard rats me out the girl gets pissed because I said I wasn't seeing anyone else. She storms out and I sitting there with a stiffy that won't see any action tonight. The next day I tell him he has to move out.

The guys a fucking coward. We went out this one time to a club in New York. So we were sitting their drinking when I see he talking to this Spanish chick. I think nothing of it until I hear her scream "Wha the fuck you say!?" and before I know it our table is surrounded by fifteen Puerto Rican dudes. They're mad because he call the chick a fat whore or something and so he starts arguing with these guys. As we know he a big guy and can handle himself but it's unfair for them to gang up on one guy. So I join in to help my buddy out. I scream for them to back the fuck off and stuff. Then I see out of the corner of my eye my boys moving back. Then he starts putting word in my mouth saying I call them punk ass Mexicans and fat beaners. Can you believe he was trying to pass the buck in this situation? They really got mad after that and started to push me so I decked one of them. Thinking it was on and we were in for a fight. I turn and she him standing faraway he abandon me during a fight against fifteen fucking Puerto Ricans. I got my ass kicked and was bounced out of the club. I was sitting outside holding iced that some girl was nice enough to give me a when this dick comes up and asks am I okay. Saying he thought I had them. I haven't talked to him since.

Oh man I hate that Galactus faggot so much. He told me he just got some primo weed, and like a fucking moron, I trusted him. He gave me some god damn oregano mixed with that shit you would smoke in high school. And that fucking Silver Surfer follows him around and basically sucks his dick. When I told Galactus about this bullshit he tried to pull, I swear that Silverfucker snickered and fist bumped Galactus behind his back.

I fucking hate those guys.

There's this foreign guy next door, looks like a head ornament, I've been having to wake up early, to beat him to MY newspaper. The jerk has the gall to walk over to my driveway and just take it, doesn't even look around, I've spied him half a dozen times from my kitchen while making coffee. When I first went out while he's walking over, he says he's 'just stretchin' but now he wakes up early to take it. I've knocked on his door, his new excuse is that the paper boy is throwing HIS newspaper in MY yard. Says he'll have a talk with him.

Ya know what? The fuck has got the paperboy in his palm now. Some kind of foreigner to foreigner under the the table thing going on.

The paperboy now really DOES deliver my paper to his drive.

Spoke to the paperboy, this kid's a little shit too. Too many waves to the head. Even delivers the papers with his board. Kid says he doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Oh, don't even get me fucking started on Galactus. I was at this kick-back, not even a fucking party, with some of my bros and my best girl and this guy.. This fucking Galacto-faggot just bursts in with like.. Twenty fucking random dudes and this naked guy painted all in silver.

He then puts in this mix-tape with like fucking.. Techno? And then rap? And all this shitty music. It's not even that the genres were bad, it's like he deliberately picked shitty music. And he just.. He starts headbanging really hard with his foot on my bro's brand new table! Can you fucking believe it? Nobody even invited him!

Then he just runs to my bro's fridge and keeps yelling, "I HUNGER!" while grabbing for whatever he can find. Fucker must've taken half the fridge, and he had his little fag-on-a-leash carry the other fucking half. But right before he leaves he spanks my girlfriend right on the ass, then gets on this fucking.. Two man skate/surfboard fucking thing and rides off!

FUCKING DICK!

Dude's a piece of shit. I don't know who to hate more, him or his buddy who looks like a 2nd place Oscar award, beach bum piece of shit, hits kids and grandparents with his board on purpose at the beach while Galactus runs around stomping everyone's sandcastles.